Vincent van Gogh is well known as a groundbreaking painter, a titan of art history classes and a suitably tragic example of the "Tortured Artist". It's no secret that he suffered from depressions and died by suicide.
Vincent was supported, for the most part, by his younger brother Theo who sent him money to live on for years.
http://vangoghletters.org/vg/context_3.html
He paid the rent, bought food and then the rest all went to canvasses and paint.
It's all very romantic to say "I buy paint and if there's any left, I pay the rent" but of course, in the real world, we can't do that, and it really isn't true that one makes better art if one is suitably Tormented (which is an idea I grew up with: Overcoming the obstacles, Suffering for one's Higher Purpose, freezing in a garret and all that. What exactly is a garret, anyway?).
gar·ret
ˈɡerət/
I've spent the past two weeks worrying about what I'll do next and making crap trinkets out of trash to try to drum up a few bucks. Applying over the Interfairy for an apartment or small house up in Trinidad is pretty hopeless with no bank balance to show, no job and spotty credit.
Almost all the artists I'm acquainted with have careers of some sort and if they are making a living from art, they're teachers. Of course, when I was a student, that's pretty much the only advice I got about that..."something to fall back on" they said.
I didn't like school when I was in it, made average to poor grades, was assured that I'd never be able to go to University and then, thanks to some string-pulling, suddenly found myself in College in a foreign country (the USA; I'm an immigrant) majoring in Commercial Art (not my idea, I wanted to go to Art School and learn the basics of the craft) at the age of 17...and I didn't know that begging, borrowing and scrounging is how people pay for college. In fact, I didn't know anything. (Typical conversation from those days went like this: classmate "Are you going to such-and-such activity Friday?" me "I can't, I have to work" classmate "What about so-and-so?" me "Can't, I have art history" continues for several suggestions, then "What classes are you taking?" me (lists classes)
classmate (slightly disbelieving) "holy crap, how many hours are you taking?" me "Eighteen" (Classmate falls off chair))
This being because I actually had no clue that this was unusual and finding out that all the other students were carrying a "normal", "full time" load of twelve hours.
(And let's not even go into the not-exactly-true-in-the-strictest-sense-of-the-word Begging Letter I was forced to write to qualify for a "scholarship" which turned out to be $100.....)
Anyway, I did not want to be a teacher. I'd just escaped from high school and I sure as Hell didn't want to spend my adult life trapped back in one.
But I digress.
Where I find myself now is, where do I go from here? The choices are either to get another job, and quickly, so I can continue to live as I've been doing, puttering along at close to the minimum wage, paying the bills and eating and saving for months to buy a few little supplies, trying to make something that I would consider Art
or
Beg family for some money so that I can move to Colorado and, let's face it, do the same up there. Bit of a Hobson's choice.
(Another digression. I know someone who has never held a traditional job. She has had the luxury of a supportive family, a small family business and has been making art all her life. She has worked very hard selling at fairs and festivals: the packing, hauling, driving, showing, smiling, breaking down, repacking, driving home again, working some more: and she's sick even unto the back teeth of it. Lately she has had to rely on it for her only income and she's barely keeping her head above water. She has made a name for herself, gained a little notoriety, been on TV, has a website and is invited to speak at "Women In Business" type events. She also hires out to birthday parties, bridal showers and the like. People admire her and praise her work. You could call her a Success. She certainly has "paid her dues" and "put in the effort" and worked very hard. She has the knack for self-promotion. And yet...
I am not going to name her, nor link to her sites because she's a friend of mine and I don't want her to know the Truth...I think her stuff is Hideous. There, I've said it. Point is, she's done everything right and it isn't enough.)
Which brings me back to the hard choices. Do I accept defeat, stay where I am, or do I go hat in hand for funds to get out of town?
Depressing.
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